Mission: Impossible III

After sitting in the sun with my friend, having some beers and talking about our journey this summer, I decided it was too hot for school. Logically, I decided to go to the movie theater instead, at least they have airconditioning there so the whole place is nice and chilly. I planned on seeing The Merchant of Venice, a new movie based on a Shakespearian story starring Al Pacino and some other famous bloke, but apparently the cinema to which I go didn't find the movie important enough and I was left with my second choice: Mission: Impossible III. Being quite a fan of the first movie and having liked the last twenty minutes of M:I-2 very much, I was very enthusiastic when entering the theater. I came out depressed.

How that J.J. Abrams managed to totally fuck up the Mission: Impossible concept is beyond me. It's not that hard really; all you have to do is let Ethan infiltrate a high-security building, make him do some cool moves in the process and throw in some guards here and there to increase the tension. As a bonus, you could add a mind-blowing action sequence in the last twenty minutes. Imagine the infiltration from M:I followed by the whole motorbike sequence frome M:I 2, now something like that would have been one hell of a kickass M:I 3.

Alas! Abrams totally screws up by turning M:I 3 into a two-hour episode of Alias. A two-hour episode of Alias without Jennifer Garner! The storyline is constantly ignored as the action sequences, none of them anywhere near as good as the ones in M:I 2, follow up in a pace that just makes you lose interest. 'Oh look, it's another action sequence. I wonder if they'll show how he gets inside the building, rather than start showing the heist when Hunt is already inside. Too bad, they did it again! Not to worry, I'm sure he will go for a more stealthy approach this time, instead of mowing down every moving obstacle in his part. Aw, I hate to dissapoint myself. I'm sure they won't let him jump out of a building from the forty-second floor this time, we've already had a miraculous escape like that!' And then comes another sigh as Ethan jumps and pulls open his parachute once more, landing in the middle of a highway in Shanghai and managing to escape all possible vehicles while at the same time running after some bottle that all the cars magicly seem to avoid. Sorry for those small spoilers, but by the end of this entry I seriously hope you won't waste your money on this movie like I did.

Not only are the action sequences predictable and unoriginal, they are also filmed in terrible, terrible ways. The camera seems to follow his own will during the sequences, flying hithero and making random movements all the time. So we have no memorable action and poorly filmed action sequences. Did anybody shout 'Oh for crying out loud, give us back Woo, at least he knew how to make an action sequence!'? I'm sure somebody did.

Furthermore the actors aren't really putting an effort into in, the love story between Ethan and his wife is absolutely ridiculous (all the people in the audience today were laughing during Cruise's death sequence, in which his wife tries to reanimate him and, my god!, she succeeds), Ving Rhames isn't half as cool as he was in the first movie, the story is just ridiculous (moving from one heist to another instead of building one big con up, the way it used to be done in the first two movies). The movie is too long for its own good, the ending is not satisfying and even Cruise isn't funny this time.

This was the first time ever that I almost fell asleep during a movie in the theater (usually the sound is just too loud for you to sleep but for some reason, that didn't bother me in M:I 3) and that I actually thought of leaving the theater altogether. If I hadn't payed good money to see this movie, I probably would have. I used to be a Mission: Impossible fan, but Abrams has put the franchise to shame by making part three. I still like part one and two, but I don't consider three to be something that has any connection to those two movies.

Don't see it, please. You'll thank me later.