Terra Ventura Revisited

Bonjour.

Me and my family went to Germany for a couple of days. Took some pictures, took some women, you know how it goes. What's more interesting is that we stayed at hotel Terra Ventura again. For those of you who don't remember, that's the hotel where I met the girl who was the inspiration for this post about a year and a half ago. As usual, I got interested in another girl this time around. No wannabe poetry this time, here are two situations that might have happened. But which one did and which one didn't? I don't know, you tell me.

Situation 1:
We had been eyeing each other for quite a few days now. Today was my last evening in the hotel, I had to make my move. It was time to get my groove back. Again. Damn you Whoopi Goldberg. After dinner, I took a napkin and a pen. I wrote 'Meet me in Montauk' on the front side. Just in case she hadn't seen the movie -kids and their silly action movies and crappy comedies these days- and because it wasn't all that clear a message, I wrote 'Montauk = the bar' on the back. I passed her table, said something -could've been 'Here you go, darling' or 'Bleurgh-uargh?', don't remember- and went to the bar for a drink. One hour and two big Erdinger Weissbiers later, I left feeling a little silly but very satisfied. What a divine brand of beer. She never showed up.

Situation 2:
We had been eyeing each other for quite a few days now. During my stay in the hotel, she and a couple of other gals had mistaken me for demigod Hercules. That's okay, they're actually not that far off. Herc is one half, I'm the other. But anyway. I was interested, so I had to talk to her. During one dinner, I went to her table and said to her father something along the lines of 'Excuse me, milord, might I have a word with your stunningly beautiful daughter?' He stood up, rather irritated, gave me a look of deep digust and howled: 'Who are you to take my daughter away? You young kids with your long hair and your music television! Away with you, away!'
'But sir, I--'
'Didn't you hear me, you ugly bastard? Piss off!'
'Oh don't make me angry pal, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!'
My eyes turned white, I lunged myself towards his persona, jumped onto his chest and ripped his heart right out. After standing victorious upon the now dead body, I threw the remains of his heart into a bowl of chicken soup. I regained my sexiness, turned towards the dame and said 'Mademoiselle?' She stared at me, first slightly horror-stricken but then with a face that showed nothing but sheer adoration. She uttered 'Hell yeah!', took me by the hand and we went to a hotel room where I did stuff to her.

Which one of the situations is true? That's for me to know and for you to find out. Oh, and if you're the girl and you're reading this: contact me, I lost your number.

Yeah right.
But seriously, contact me.
And the rest of you: bugger off.